In the middle of my journey to lose these last 20 lbs, I’ve come upon a dilemma…dating. The problem is not so much dating as it is keeping control when there is change.

Losing weight means a lot of planning for me make any significant gains in my weight loss. I plan my meals every day, counting every calorie, documenting every work out. Being a baker, I’m around rich and fattening foods daily. Walking into the kitchen is akin to walking into a land mine field. And I’m an emotional eater, so if its a bad day, some disruption or change, you will find me in the walk-in with my head in the Valrhona chocolate bag. It is important that I stay centered, I pray and I stick to the plan and life is quiet. I am in a safe bubble of controlled calories and “serenity now” chants. But throw a cute boy in there and a night out on the town and that bubble pops.

Last weekend, I got a surprise date for dinner and a movie. The Hulk was out that weekend. I had to say yes. But then I had already eaten my calorie requirements for the day. How could I go out to eat? What would I order? I have very little self-control and put a menu of salty, gooey, fattening food in front me and I go bonkers! I thought maybe we could skip dinner or I would just order a salad. Who was I kidding? I could feel my belly getting ready for quesadillas and spinach/artichoke dip.

I arrive to the date and we sit down for dinner. The waitress gives us the menus and I’m hoping the selections will be all Lean Cuisine, 200 calories or less entrees. Or maybe I could get a Slim Fast shake? Or maybe that got some of that Dick Gregory Bahamian Diet in the back? Hell-to-the-naw. I was so conflicted and confused with my choices, I ended up ordering a side of fries, a side of onion rings and one big gigantic cookie. I am a 12 year old. My adult date ordered salmon and veggies. I stared at my three plates of grease, carbohydrates and sugar flabbergasted.

I was so overcome with making a decision, I made the wrong decision. I had not made a plan on what to do in this kind of situation. Having always detailed my meals, workouts and even dates days ahead, made it hard for me to be flexible and nimble enough to think on the fly when I was faced with a new event. I learned that I have to be able to eat out and choose wisely. And even if I do eat out, that it is not the end of world and I have not ruined all of my previous efforts.

Dietitians and nutritionist encourage us to rotate and change up our meals and workout routines, but we also need the tools to make good choices when we are faced with a menu of bad ones. How do we socialize with food and respond to change? This issue for me wasnt just that I was at a restaurant, but that I had changed my day to incorporate a new person in a new environment and it stressed me out. And instead of calming down to make a good decision, I panicked and went to my comfort zone—food—in the form of fries, onion rings and a giant chocolate chip cookie.

My date laughed at me as I picked over my fries, played with my onion rings and devoured my chocolate chip cookie. He then took my hand and we walked to the theater to see the Hulk. I am a 12 year old.

This weekend its another date at a sushi bar. Unagi Nigiri here I come!