Does Your Family Know Whether You Want To be Buried or Cremated?

I recently was devastated by the loss of a designer friend last week who was very close to me.
Ok…shocked was a better word.
He was here one day and gone the next.

He was not old…
No sickness.
No illness.
Just gone.
He had something akin to an aneurysm.

I was no good for a few days actually. I cried for three days and I am not a crying kinda person. I thank a friend who prayed for me and I really felt like I could hold it together after that prayer from her.

I called to see what the arrangements were for the funeral and was informed that there would be a memorial and not a funeral because this friend of mine always wanted to be cremated.

Ok… then I just noted that and hung up, I never thought about it again until I was telling a mutual friend and she was surprised. She said she was uncomfortable with that idea and that our friend had never mentioned that.
The last update was the family had decided not to do that they were not aware of his wishes that way.

So I was speaking to my sister about it and she says that she had always wanted to be cremated.
I was stunned….I never thought about it myself.

I thought WoW…let’s say my sister was married and her husband had come forward with this information and said we are going to cremate your sister I would have fought it tooth and nail and probably would have thought he had something to do with it.

Personally, I have not thought that far ahead but I was just thinking if any of my friends here know if your people know whether you want to be cremated or buried? It may be something you want to communicate early if it is the case.

Just wondering.. I am sure some will think that this is morbid but the process of death is a part of life.


Would it be a burial or a cremation and why?

Does your family know how you feel?

Do you have it in your will or have a will at all?


0 responses to “Does Your Family Know Whether You Want To be Buried or Cremated?”

  1. it’s funny, because i also lost a designer friend of recent (lenny yorke)… i also lost a choreographer friend in march 2008…
    i think people fear death so much, that they don’t take out the time to discuss this with other family members. i choose to be cremated, (or possibly donate my body to medical science). I do not want people looking over my dead body. But I want everyone to remember my memory and all the wonderful things about me. I thought Bernie Mac’s memorial service was appropriate, and I will opt to do the same. When we see a dead, cold, painted and dressed corpse, we are further traumatized… why not look at a giant sized picture of me smiling or hanging with family?

  2. Would it be a burial or a cremation and why?
    I am getting pretty comfortable with cremation. I believe that cremation would be a better choice for me because the funerals that I have attended with buriels have drained me. The grieving process was long, tedius and trying. I have completed a graduate degree in counseling and do want as one of my specialites to be grief counseling. With an open casket funeral, the deceased person usually does not look anything like they did in the living. My mom is a cosmetoligist and has had to go in and re-do numerous friends and family members hair because the people in the funeral homes do not know the deceased person’s style. There are just so many issues that I have experienced with burials. I have asked ministers their opinions and none have had any biblical explanations, however, my late grandmother always told me to pray about my decision to be cremated.

    The memorial services that I have attended have been much easier on my heart strings, I have not had to deal with looking at the shell of the person lying before me and saying goodbye for a final time to the shell of the person. I understand that a person’s soul goes to be with the Lord and the body is just a temporary dwelling place. I am even now becoming more open to donating organs, I have heard so many wonderful stories about people being given life from people who have died and donated their organs.

    The cost is a factor for me. I do not want my family to be burdened with any extra fees that my insurance does not cover. I live in Georgia and was raised in California and born in Illinois, I wish to have memorials in all three places. Sending a body from Georgia to Illinois would be a huge expense that I do not feel is necessary. My ashes could be scattered in all three places near water in all three places, I love water.

    Does your family know how you feel? Yes

    Do you have it in your will or have a will at all? No will now, working on it.

  3. My friend will be handling the arrangements for her parents who are in their 80's. They have purchased "drawers" in a mosleum ahead of time. She has decided to cremate them in spite of their obvious plans to be burried (sort of). That seemed wrong to me since this would be their last wish.
    She is emphatic and doesn't see anything wrong with it…saying "they'll be dead…they won't know".
    I'm interested in learning what others think. I don't want to offend her. It just seems not right to not pay attention to someone's last wish. They haven't been very kind to her in her life. That probably has a lot to do with it.

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