I got all mushy on y’all last week, so this week I’m back again hittin’ hard and makin’ you think. As I mentioned to one of my loyal readers (he knows who he is), if you feel convicted by what I’m saying to you, then that’s OK as long as you do something about it (me included). I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad about themselves…I’m just trying to give a little perspective to this thing we call love. This article serves as a cautionary tale. The question I pose today is:
Why do we treat our #1 Draft Picks, dare I say FRANCHISE PLAYERS, like they are the 6th man?
Give me your open mind and I will expand on this thought.
The Story:
You’re married or dating in what he/she believes is a monogamous relationship. Your signifcant other (SO) is a person found to be very attractive to the opposite sex. You OF COURSE find your mate to be very attractive and deep down in your heart of hearts, you believe that you love them.
FAST FWD: You find yourself finding someone else attractive. (So far, no problem, right). Well then you start to flirt with said attraction and pretty soon, the flirtation is getting hot and heavy (Still no problem, but yellow lights are flashing). Finally, you decide to see where all this flirtation can really take you, and you end up in a very compromising situation that your aforementioned significant other would not approve of. (RED LIGHT! RED LIGHT! RED LIGHT!) Anywho….instead of just saying, oops, I got a little carried away and sweeping the stupidity under the rug, you start to carry on a (GASP) relationship with this person.
SIDEBAR: Now let’s just expand on the term relationship. A relationship is defined as –
| 1. | a connection, association, or involvement. |
| 2. | connection between persons by blood or marriage. |
| 3. | an emotional or other connection between people. |
| 4. | a sexual involvement; affair |
So here’s where guys screw up. They all the way down at #4 thinking that if there is no SEX involved, then it’s not really a relationship or an affair. So let’s go back to #1…a connection, #2 (it ain’t with your sister or brother, so we can skip that one) and #3 an emotional connection between two people. So affairs of the heart and mind can occur without the physical ever taking place. So if you find yourself looking forward to seeing the person, sharing things with them that you can’t or don’t share with your SO AND your SO doesn’t know about it, then guess what, it’s a relationship and maybe (GASP!!!) and affair.
(Now back to our story, already in progress)
So….you find yourself going out of town on trips with this person on made up business trips (or if they work with you, maybe they are legitimately going out of town on the same business trip…but not minding your business), calling them all the time, movies, lunch, dinner, maybe a mid-day sneak to the hotel, etc. All the while knowing that if your #1 Draft Pick ever got wind of this ellicit behavior, you’d be up shit’s creek without a paddle.
This cautionary tale is NOT for those who A) Already have one foot out the door and just have not left the person yet, B) No longer love their significant other and are just in it for the kids, money, sex, don’t have nothin’ better to do, etc. C) Are just a serial cheater and can never be stopped or D) All of the above or anything else you’d like to add.
This tale is for those who need to answer the question, can your team make it to the NBA Championships without your #1 Draft Pick and is your substitute all that you think he/she is when he/she has to deal with ALL your crap on a regular basis (and we all got crap)? Ladies, we know we be PMS’in. Men, you get moody too and don’t pick up your socks and draws. But the bottom line is…on a 24-7 basis…we all got some shyt with us.
Anyone can shower you with compliments, gifts, attention etc. when they only have to deal with you 2 hours out of every day (if that). You are the most gorgeous, sexy person to somebody in jail even if you are a 300 lb porker. It’s because they are in jail (and jail here could be literal or figurative) and they will tell you want you want to hear to get what they want. It’s the same thing when you’re looking at your neighbor’s grass….does it look greener? Do you know that they have to cut it twice a week (high maint) and put down fertilzer twice a year and they are one rain shower away from having the brownest lawn you’ve ever seen (issues….that we all have, right). Just another way to say that they grass MAY seem greener until you have to maintain it on a full time basis.
So I leave you with this. Instead of spending all that energy trying to woo the TRUE 6th man to your NBA All-Star squad, expend that energy keeping your #1 Draft Pick happy. He/She may find that they look better in another teams colors (read: sheets). Maybe they are already looking to see what other teams can offer and how to make a quiet exit…..and then how would you feel? Think about that one now, because as humans, we don’t tend to think about it until the well’s run dry.
Here’s to making good draft decisions and getting that championship ring! Good luck, I’m pulling for you! If you do a good job, you just might get …….
Next article tentatively titled…”Shhhhhh….I gotta get this, it’s my [fill in the blank with what you call your significant other] calling!” 
0 responses to “Treat your #1 Draft Pick Like Your Franchise Player”
Hey A,
Thanks for this one…kind of a pep talk. Maybe my draft pick needs a new contract…or more better play from the team…MAYBE!!!
BTW – No pics…:) Gotta see “JR” live. But, by your definition, probably not worth it.
AFox…I just had this convo with the SO last night. Temptations are there for men and women on a daily, even hourly basis…the test is determining whether you want 20% or 80%. None of us are perfect, none of us do all things right at all times for all people – we are human, we have flaws. If 80% is more important than 20%, it is up to you to keep ya head (both of them) pointed in the right direction!!!!
All of this doesn’t really matter cause 95% of the single, attractive and available people out in society now will do what ever they think they can get away with. Integrity is at an all time low on both sides of the chromosome and the sad part is most women fool themselves in to believing they are still good women when they know they are running around with this type of mentality in the back of their mind.
Whether you get caught or get cheated on in return it is always attributed to Karma or the GOdly principle of you reap what you sow. Many of us have sown seeds of infidelity in our mental gardens since we have been able to circle yes on that paper that brought us into the world of dating!
Most if not ALL liars will draw blood from a person that doesn’t believe their passionate claims of honesty and trustworthyness in the beginning of a relationship. It is all a ploy to rock you to sleep and wait patiently for their lack of integrity and negative feelings about you to coincide with the opportunity and cover story!
Forget dating, if you want to find someone special to call a life partner than just tell them you will see other people and they can too until yall are tired of dating or have made enough trips to the clinic to fix that ..ahem…problem!
Situation is bleek, ou made it like that, don’t blame me!
I loved this post! This is something that my friends and I have talked about as well as SO and I have talked about. I believe it all is attributed to appreciation. If what you do or don’t do for your SO, is a) reciprocated and b) appreciated then I believe you won’t have the large infidelity issues. Yes, eyes wander, we’re human. But anything further than a friendly hello is suspect to what really is wrong with the relationship that you currently have?
Please let me redirect for a sec.. Why must we,(I) even have a No.1 pick? Especially when the draft ‘CROP’ isn’t deep to begin with!! Whoa, “Back- Up” ladies, not that way! Why not have a team of ‘sixth men’ (women) with all having variable skill sets that reach a “CORE” of the principles and values you want on your team. In my case that would be, OPEN-MINDED, LAUGHABLE, TRIES TO LIVE LIFE THROUGH HER CREATOR, and TRUSTWORTHY– in my case ‘UPFRONT’. I am 33, I believe that all things are relative dependent upon beliefs. I speak of beliefs that are “Assembled” with having some sort of established logic and ‘professionalism’. Now that definitely requires sophisticated levels of compromise. But thats what I seek. I truly believe in seeking happiness, and I see a lot of people and couples not getting that! Why isn’t it alright to play the game – simultaneously albeit- until you see your starting five and establish your “GO TO GUY” that you live and die with in the END.
P.S. Be careful people, practice safe-sex!
Well Alison, you definitely made the playoffs wit this article, I agree…gotta treat your #1 draft pick like your franchise player…
In most drafts teams take turns selecting from eligible (everyone has their own criteria) players. And trust, every team wants the #1 draft pick (best player). Now, when the season starts, there are a lot of games played, and everyone is tryin to play the best they can. So, the league can be tough. But stay on point wit ya ‘A’ game or you might get traded, or become a free agent if you don’t continue to play like the #1 draft pick.
And yes, you’re absolutely right, #1 draft picks are synonymous with franchise players, in the sense that, you want to find players you can build your franchise around for the foreseeable future. A franchise player also has the confidence of the team and has the comfort of knowing that he/she will not be benched for a long period of time, even if their performance becomes sub par. Ideally, your franchise player will still be a “team” player if benched. And after a successful career, will be forever remembered as a member of that team.
Remember, #1 draft picks / franchise players…
-Usually sign multi-year contracts
-Are considered to represent the franchise and therefore must become the teams biggest advocate and fan
And the most important rule of all…
Ask not what your team can do for you, but what you can do for your team. LOL
After reading some of the responses here’s two more cents.
A. Fox, you’re right. Men do tend to forget that:
1. a connection, association, or involvement,
2. connection between persons by blood or marriage, or
3. an emotional or other connection between people can lead to number 4, sex.
However, women mess up when they get comfortable and start thinking that the first three can replace sex. Some women go so far as to classify them as “intimacy” in order to guilt trip men in to not wanting the “booty” so much. At that point, the sixth wo/man is being scouted.
Monica,
The problem with the 80/20 rule is that people nowadays are choosing which 80 they want to bring in to the relationship. They’re not basing it on their flaws, instead they base it on whatever they’re willing to do for that man…and vice versa. Women, in particular, will do their 80%, not to please their men, but to justify why they’re needed in their men’s lives. All along, the remaining 20 was all it took to make that man happy. The real test is to ask yourself are you willing to at least try to make up that remaining 20 for the SO you say you love. If not, then what right do you have to force a man to accept an 80% that he probably could have provided himself? Because no one really wants 80 percent of anything.
Monika – sorry for the spelling error.
Barry Bonds!
The irony of this post. I literally had a conversation with the exact same topic this past weekend. This must be a subliminal message for me to look at.
Thanks for the post…